Single Parenting : Common Challenges

Single motherhood comes with a unique set of challenges that can feel overwhelming at times. Divorce, Personal circumstance, abandonment and even unfortunate death of the partner can leave the single parent to cope with all the care-giving, nurturing, role-modeling, challenges, rewards, obstacles and joys meant for the mother-father team. Countless single moms & dads grapple with similar issues all across the world so we came up with few common challenges that you can expect to face along the way as well.

Common Challenges of Single Parenting

1) Feeling of Being Alone and Overwhelmed

Being a single Parent means that there is no day off. You constantly have to be active and work with the kid even on days when you are having an off day. This can become overwhelming especially when the child is young and needs constant attention.

Few ideas to tackle this problem could be-

– Sometimes seek help from your family and periodically take some time for yourself to cool down, relax or catch up on some much-needed sleep

– Practice Yoga at home whenever you get a chance which can really help lower the anxiety

– If you are feeling overwhelmed, instead of getting angry and lashing out at kid, try putting kid to sleep or let them watch TV for few minutes while you calm your head.

– Nowadays there is lot of very good educational material available online, try getting your kids involved with some of that while you catch a break.

2) Being the only Parent and Disciplinarian in Household

Being a single parent means that there is no good cop – bad cop routine that you can pull up with your kid. What this could mean is that being the only disciplinarian in the household can cause a feeling of resentment in kid or cause behavioral problems.

You can tackle this complex issue by –

– Surround yourself with a support system of friends & family who can sometimes guide your kid as well.

– Try to make your kid social where he gets together with other children of his age. Kids can learn from observing other kids and their mothers which can reinforce the good behavior.

3) Running the Household on Single Parent Income

Everyone knows that things nowadays can be very expensive. Especially for a new parent who is not used to many expenses associated with raising a kid, it can cause significant anxiety.

This particular problem needs to be handled in a very careful manner. In the initial formative years, where expenses are usually higher, focus on forming a very strict budget and carefully follow it all the way through to understand where the money is flowing and where you can cut down. It will seem difficult in first couple of months but gradually it will become a habit.

Once the kid is little older and does not need too much of your time, you can focus more on your profession and gradually try to earn more money. There are also several very good resources available on the web for remote work which you can do from home to pay the bills.

4) Difficulty in Forming New Relationships due to Lack of Time

Lack of time is one of the biggest problems faced by single parents. Among the pressure of handling the kid & being the only source of income, it is very easy to neglect other relationships in your life leave aside forming new ones. This is a very big mistake because it pushes the parent into a cocoon which leads to more anxiety and resentment.

Few Ideas to work on this problem are –

– No matter what happens, take some time out for yourself during the day. Even an hour should be fine. Reach out to your family & friends and chat for few minutes or get together for an hour by going out for a snack.

– Surround yourself with additional support system of other single parents which are undergoing the same difficulties. Try helping each other out for e.g. by Baby sitting to give the other parent a respite from every day hustle.

5) Explaining to Kids about the Family Structure

As kids grow up, there will be obvious questions which they will have about the family structure and why the parents are not together. Kids are usually very observant and they will pick up the difference as they start going to school and notice other families.

The best way to prepare for this is once again by forming a social circle around you consisting of family and friends. Also, prepare for all possible questions and scenarios in advance and try not to get caught by surprise.

6) Anxiety about Making Big Decisions by Yourself

It can be stressful making all the decisions yourself instead of having someone else help you out. While this can seem tiring and can cause anxiety in the beginning, this is actually not a very big issue since there are multiple positives associated with it too.

You can work on this problem by –

– Starting with small decisions. Learn to evaluate all the options and making a careful and informed choice without impulsively doing anything.

– Look for the positives, Since you are the one making the decision, you don’t have to convince anybody else of the merits. Once you make a decision, follow your own action plan and get to the result that you are envisioning.

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